7 Weird Reasons I’ve Been Told ‘You Don’t Look Autistic’
Looks can be deceiving…But who looks autistic?
One of the first things my friends and family said to me when I told them I was autistic was: ‘You don’t look autistic’, and so I couldn't be. I recall my parents being bewildered and saying that I didn’t meet their descriptions of autism and that the multiple professionals who diagnosed me with autism must have got it wrong.
Unfortunately, it’s common for autistic people, especially those who are late-diagnosed, to receive similarly unhelpful comments on their autism diagnosis, rooted in ignorance, lack of awareness, understanding and education on what autism is and how autism is a spectrum disorder.
Here are seven weird reasons I’ve been told many times that I don’t look autistic over the years, and I’m still not sure how someone ‘looks’ autistic.
1. ‘How can you be autistic if you’re so emotional all the time?’
It is a common misconception that autistic people don’t feel emotion, and it is a damaging stereotype for autistic people. Many of us deeply feel emotions and are often called ‘overly sensitive’. This sensitivity is often rooted in a condition called ‘Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria’, where rejection or failure can cause intense, heart-wrenching negative emotions, which often look like autistic meltdowns.
Yes, I’m autistic, but I can cry watching tv shows, movies or seeing an elderly couple cross the road together. It doesn’t take much to set my emotions off, but other times, things like death, relationship breakdowns or generally bad news won’t incite any emotion. Autistic people think of emotion on their terms, and societal expectations of feelings don’t always come naturally to us, so we may end up masking to meet these expectations.
2. ‘You can walk and talk fine, so you can’t be autistic.’
Although it is estimated that up to 87% of autistic people have some motor difficulty, many autistic people can walk and talk ‘normally’. Autism is a spectrum disorder, and we have a range of abilities and levels of functioning. Some of us are non-verbal, some have difficulties with spatial awareness, and some can talk and walk with minimal problems.
